The View from My Kitchen

Benvenuti! I hope you enjoy il panorama dalla mia cucina Italiana -- "the view from my Italian kitchen,"-- where I indulge my passion for Italian food and cooking. From here, I share some thoughts and ideas on food, as well as recipes and restaurant reviews, notes on travel, and a few garnishes from a lifetime in the entertainment industry.

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Grazie mille!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Botto Italian Bistro UPDATE

Waaaaahhhhh! Yelp Won't Publish My Review!

Well, you can't say I didn't try. In a previous post regarding the California Italian restaurant currently trying to stick it to Yelp, I said that I might submit a one-star review of the place myself. I did. Several times. And Yelp keeps removing it.

Here for your edification is the "review" I attempted to submit:

As one who actually does make a small part of his living writing restaurant reviews, I decided to review Botto Italian Bistro. Unfortunately, I live on the East Coast and have never been to Richmond, CA, nor have I ever set foot in Botto Italian Bistro. That being said, I decided to go ahead and write the review anyway. This is, after all, a Yelp review and any semblance of literary or journalistic education or experience is totally unnecessary and any sort of culinary knowledge is completely superfluous. All that is required is a keyboard and an index finger. Having both, I press forward with my review.

In keeping with the usual tenor and tone of social media reviews, I submit the following:

Doods, ths palce rely sux.......i wudnt evr of ate hear if i'd have knowd how relly, rely, bad it sux. take my wurd for it, duds, this plase rilly sux.

There. I have fulfilled my obligation to the dining public.

It is my understanding, though, that the management at this establishment has offered a 25% discount for such comprehensive and high caliber reviews as the offering I have submitted. Since I fully intended to eat at Botto Bistro, but was unable to do so due to distance (I actually drove as far west as Chicago, but there the lure of the authentic fare at Olive Garden got the better of me and I am now so sated with salad and breadsticks as to be unable to continue my journey), I would like to submit that I would have gladly eaten at least $100 worth of food at Botto had I actually gotten to eat there. Therefore, I would request that the management remit a certified check to me in the amount of $25.

Grazie, Davide e Michele per il vostro servizio per l'industria.


I'm given to understand that Yelp is removing fake reviews for Botto Bistro as fast as it can, but it is being inundated with them right now. Took them almost an hour to spot and remove mine. Further attempts to edit or resubmit it have been unsuccessful, so I guess they're on to me.

But do yourself a favor and go there (here)
and read some of the hilarious "reviews" that have stuck. And maybe write one yourself. Just don't make it as obviously fake as mine. Apparently the folks at Yelp aren't total idiots. Halfwits, maybe, but not total idiots.

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