I Do So Miss
William F. Buckley, Jr.
I could care less about going mano y
mano with people who say “verse.” They are just looking for an
escape goat and even though it's a mute point, it wrecks havoc,
irregardless.
Did that all sound okay to you?
If it did, you're one of the people toward whom this article is
directed. The entire statement is made up of commonly misused words and phrases.
Normally I go off on people for bad
Italian usage and pronunciation, but improper English grinds my gears
just as quickly. And lately there's been a lot of gear grinding going
on because I have been subjected to this semantic slaughter either by real life people I know or by individuals on TV. Although
there are a ton of malapropian gaffes and strange pseudo-idioms
floating around out there, let's look at a few of the more
egregious ones.
I could care less.
I was watching something where a woman
spouted, “I could care less about that.” Given the context of the
statement, I assume she intended to convey the fact that she, indeed,
could not have cared less
about it. But that's not what she said. Saying that you could
“care less” about something implies that you do care about
whatever it is, at least to some extent. What people who say this
usually mean to say is that they don’t care at all about whatever
it is they are not caring about, hence “I couldn’t care
less about that” would have been the correct way to phrase the
statement. What the woman said
indicated that she was
capable of having less concern rather than implying that it would
have been impossible for her to do so. Saying what she actually meant
would have required her to think about what she was saying and that
was apparently too much of a task for her infinitesimal intellect.
Mano y mano, or
mano a mano.
There
was this guy on TV who said to another guy, "Okay. Let's go. Just you and me, mano y mano.” And I thought to myself, “They're going to hold
hands? How nice.”
“Mano y mano” is supposed to be a
manly phrase used by manly men who apparently think that saying
something in Spanish is going to make them sound even more manly. I'm
not sure when it happened, but somewhere in the fairly recent past,
some English-speaking idiot or other got the idea that adding an “o”
to the English word “man” turned it into the Spanish word for
man and they started saying “mano y mano” when they wanted to
sound tough and say “man to man.” “I'm gonna take you on man to
man.” Sounds tough, right? But when you say it in a foreign
language, it sounds even tougher, right? Even
though it's the wrong phrase for the action intended.
The
Spanish word for “man” is “hombre.” (I hope I don't have to
mention the silent “h” there.) “Mano” is Spanish for “hand.”
“Y” (pronounced “ee”) is Spanish for “and.” Therefore,
“mano y mano” is not Spanish
for the manly “man to man.” It is Spanish for “hand and hand.”
The image of these two tough guys skipping along hand and hand is
kinda funny. Funnier still would be “mano en mano,” which
translates to “hand in hand,” but I haven't heard that one yet.
Now,
some tough guys say, “mano a mano.” That's much more
manly. That means “hand to hand,” and it traces its origins back
to the bullfighting ring. “Hand to
hand” is a much more aggressive way to duke it out than “hand and
hand,” don't you agree? “Mano a mano” implies the desired
spirit of single combat. Makes my testosterone level go up just
thinking about it. But it still doesn't mean, “man to man.” That
would actually be “hombre a hombre,” which doesn't
flow nearly as nicely. When you mean “man
to man” why not just say
“man to man” and forget about sounding all macho?
“Versus”
versus “verse.”
Another
thing that gets my linguistic goat is hearing people say “verse”
when they mean “versus.” Usually abbreviated “vs” or just
“v,” especially in legal usage, “versus” means “in contrast
to” or “as opposed to.” “White versus black.” “On versus
off.” “Roe versus Wade.” Going back to the fifteenth century,
the word originates in Middle English taken from Medieval
Latin. It means “so as to face,” taken from the past participle
of “vertere,” meaning “to turn.” And it most definitely has
two distinct syllables – VER-sus – with
the accent falling on the first syllable. Now, I don't know if the
current trend of shortening it to “verse” is an attempt at
expressing a vocal abbreviation, if it's lexical laziness, or if it's
just a matter of people's tongues getting wrapped around their
eyeteeth so they can't see what they're saying, but it
drives me nuts! It is, for
example, “right ver-sus wrong,”
not “right verse wrong,”
you bunch of witless illiterates!
An “escape goat.”
The common English term “scapegoat” has biblical origins, derived
from a Hebrew word used in Leviticus, in which a goat was sent out
into the desert after the sins of the people had been symbolically
laid upon it. In modern usage, the term “scapegoat” refers to a
person who is singled out, usually without merit, for blame or
negative treatment.
An “escape goat,” however, is merely an animal that got away.
It's a “mute point.”
I know a couple of people who use
(misuse) this one all the time. A point or matter that is moot is one
that is subject to debate, dispute, or interpretation. It goes back
to Medieval England wherein a “moot” was an assembly of people
who exercised administrative or judicial authority. You brought your
case, or your point of law, before a moot for discussion and
interpretation, hence making it “a moot point.” As moots became
obsolete, moot points came to refer to irrelevant or obsolete
discussions.
“Mute,” on the other hand, denotes
an inability to speak or articulate. Another variant of “mute,”
one which has fallen out of favor in the uber-PC present, is “dumb.”
And I think people who go around making “mute points” certainly
qualify as dumb.
Wreck havoc.
There is a difference between “wreck”
(rek) and “wreak” (reek). The verb “wreak” means to inflict,
to unleash, to carry out. “Havoc,” of course, is synonymous with
devastation and destruction. Which is also what “wreck” basically
means. You may, therefore, properly wreak or
inflict devastation upon something, but is it even possible to
“destroy” devastation, as you would be doing if you “wrecked”
it?
Irregardless.
A lot
of people say it. A lot of people are wrong. Well......maybe not
entirely, unfortunately. While most sources claim that “irregardless”
is a made-up word, possibly made up of combining “irrespective”
and “regardless,” Merriam-Webster vows there is such a
word. However, the dictionary barely recognizes it, stating, “It is
still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to
time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years,
and it is still a long way from general acceptance.” And most
well-spoken people do not accept it. For one thing, it's redundant.
The prefix “ir” means “not.” As in “irrelevant,” meaning
“not relevant.” Well, the word “regardless” already means
“without regard” or “not regarding.” So does adding a prefix
that means “not” to a word that means “not” make any sense to
any reasonable person? I think not. Regardless of whether
“irregardless” is a real word or not, just stick with
“regardless.”
(Sigh)
I do so miss William F. Buckley, Jr.
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