The “Ugly American” Keeps Getting
Uglier
Stop me if you've heard this one; two
American women in their early twenties walk into a two-thousand
year-old Roman Colosseum. One says to the other, “Hey, wouldn't it
be fun to tear up this old place and then take a selfie to
commemorate our senseless desecration of one of the most iconic
places on the planet?” Ha-ha-ha! Hilarious, right?
The two micro-brained miscreants were
part of a tour group. But you know how boring those generic old tour
groups are. So the pair decided to personalize their experience a
little by slipping away and using a coin to carve their initials into
walls erected by emperors two millennia ago that have withstood the
ravages of time as well as attacks by hordes of the folks who
literally defined what it was to be a Vandal. And then the pair of
fools went the original sackers of Rome one better and proudly
photographed themselves with their vandalism. Doesn't it just warm
your heart that such idioti cazzo walk
among us? The “Ugly American” keeps getting uglier.
Now before you go
off on me for dissing these darling nieces of their Uncle Sam, let me
acknowledge that they are far from the only ones to have done
something selfishly senseless, ignorant, infantile, puerile, moronic,
and numerous other pejorative adjectives on foreign soil. A Russian
touron – that's a portmanteau of “tourist” and “moron” in
case you were wondering – did something similar in the same place a
few months ago as did an Australian father and son team of mindless
vandals. Chinese officials are in a state of perpetual embarrassment
over the conduct of their citizens abroad and Egyptian authorities
are all atwitter over some Russian tourons making a porn flick
amongst the Pyramids. So its not just an American thing. But as an
American, it hurts more to see it because it so perfectly reinforces
a stereotype that most other cultures already have of us. I know what
these two cretins did is not on a scale with the wholesale
destruction of historic and archaeological treasures being carried
out in parts of the Middle East these days, but just because they
used a coin instead of a sledgehammer does not make them less
culpable for their blatant violation.
I
don't know. I guess there's just something in the human psyche that
compels people of a certain sort to immortalize themselves in this
manner, whether it be by carving their initials in a tree trunk or by
scrawling “Kilroy was here” on every stationary surface they
encounter. However, just because I can rationalize it doesn't imply
that I condone it. It's vandalism, pure and simple, and vandalism is
vandalism, defined as “willful or malicious destruction or
defacement of public or private property.” And it's not “cute”
or “silly” or “just harmless fun.” It's a disgusting criminal
activity. And it's expensive. I recently read that the annual cost of
cleaning up graffiti – the most basic form of vandalism – in the
United States is around twenty-five billion dollars.
But it's not just the money.
I was visiting the
site of a historic cabin in the mountains of East Tennessee when I
came across a woman nearly in tears with anger. When I asked what was
wrong, she replied bitterly, “Look what they've done to it. This
was my grandfather's home. He built it with his own hands. And look
what these f***ing idiots have done to it.” The walls were covered
with the names and initials of savagely ignorant people who felt
compelled to preserve themselves for posterity. Vandals in the truest
sense.
I was
visiting Independence Rock in Wyoming. This huge granite monolith, a
landmark for travelers along the Oregon, California, and Mormon
trails, has been called “the Register of the Desert” because many
of the emigrants marked their passage by carving names and messages
in the face of the rock. Just goes to show, I suppose, that vandalism
has been around for a long time. But worse by far are the vandals who
continue to vandalize the historic site by adding their
self-important scribblings to those left by the pioneers of long ago.
In fact, the National Park Service says modern graffiti actually
threatens to overwhelm the rock's historic signatures. But I guess as
long as you get to carve “Billy and Betty were here” and take a
picture of it, that's all that matters, because, after all, it is
all about you.
When the Russian
reprobate committed his reprehensible act of hooliganism in Rome, he
was given a four month suspended sentence and a hefty fine. No word
yet on what penalties the California girls may have to face. But we
can all feel a little better about the whole thing because the girls
now say they have learned the lesson of a lifetime. They didn't
realize what they were doing was such a big deal until shocked
tourists who possessed basic common sense and common decency pointed
them out to security and they were met by Roman police who proceeded
to charge them with “aggravated damage on a building of historical
and artistic interest.” After which I'm sure they were
photographed again and given another opportunity to practice their
signatures.
I hear they're
headed to the Louvre next. I mean like really, wouldn't that stuffy
old painting of the woman with a goofy grin look positively
outrageous with a mustache?
In the words of the immortal Forrest Gump, "stupid is as stupid does."
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