Yes! Finally, official vindication of my long-held belief. The
Supreme Court has ruled that Chicago-style “Deep-Dish Pizza” is
not really pizza at all. Well.....sort of.
In a undeniably brave move, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia,
speaking in Chicago, declared that, although tasty, the home-grown
casserole-like concoction that the locals like to call “pizza” is
not a pizza.
Justice Scalia was born in New Jersey to a Sicilian immigrant
father and a mother who was herself a child of Italian immigrants. So
the guy knows something about pizza, okay? I mean, if Sotomayor or
Kennedy or Ginsburg spoke out on pizza, I'd maybe question their
credentials. But not Scalia. The man obviously knows pizza. Justice
Alito hasn't ruled yet, but I'm sure he'd be in agreement with
Scalia.
The learned justice knows that when God orders pizza, it's gonna
be vera pizza napoletana; the
real thing. Pizza with a thin crust that's just the perfect balance
between crispy and chewy, topped with rich tomato sauce and
mozzarella cheese and maybe some fresh basil. That may not be
in the Bible anywhere, but when the Almighty came up with the idea
for pizza, where did he have it made? Naples. So, close enough.
Chicagoans don't make their alleged “pizza” on a flat pan;
they use a large, deep pan with sides about three inches tall. You
know what the proper name for a large, deep, tall-sided baking dish
is? Casserole! Look it up. And the word “casserole” applies to
both the cooking vessel and the dish that's cooked in it. So when you
fill up a casserole dish with ingredients and bake it for thirty to
forty-five minutes, what have you got? A casserole! Not a pizza. A
pizza is “topped.” A casserole is filled. Doesn't matter that
it's filled with traditional pizza ingredients. It's still not a
pizza. If a cat has kittens in the oven, you don't call them
“biscuits.” And a real pizza can be made in less than ten
minutes. You shouldn't have to wait for three-quarters of an hour.
The full text of Scalia's ruling, as reported in the Chicago
Sun-Times, reads, "I do indeed like so-called 'deep dish
pizza.' It's very tasty. But it should not be called 'pizza.' It
should be called 'a tomato pie.' Real pizza is Neapolitan. It is
thin. It is chewy and crispy, OK?"
And he's absolutely right. When you make an apple or cherry pie,
you lay a crust in a deep baking dish and fill it with apples or
cherries. When you lay a crust in a deep baking dish and fill it with
tomatoes, you get a tomato pie. Not a pizza.
A dissenting opinion was offered by Chris Bentley, writing in
Chicagoist: “We dissent. Sure, pizza took its modern form in
19th century Naples: thin crust, mozzarella and tomatoes. But the
Neopolitans’ original intent when they drafted their recipe was to
please the masses, in order to create a more perfect union of
tomatoes, cheese and baked dough. They could not have envisioned
modern technology, New World inventiveness or the American appetite
for excess. We must respect this new context.”
First off, Chris, check your spelling of “Neapolitan.” And
your opinion doesn't hold water. Pandering to “the American
appetite for excess” has ruined a lot of traditional cuisines. “New
World inventiveness,” also known as American ethnocentric hubris,
does not trump “Old World” tradition. In small, easy to
understand words, “don't screw around with my pizza.”
By the way, lest I be labeled a “New York snob,” I was born in
the Midwest and grew up near Chicago. But even as a kid, I turned up
my nose at the messy, doughy dreck Uno's, Lou Malnati's and other
so-called pizzerias tried to shove down my throat under the guise of
“Chicago-style” pizza. Even Pizza Hut pizza was better, and that
ain't saying much. At least it was a form of pizza, not a tomato
casserole with cheese. And believe me when I say there's a lot of New
York/New Jersey pretenders out there, too. Not all pizza made in New
York and environs qualifies as “authentic.” But even the worst
greasy, sloppy slice that you have to fold up to keep intact is
better than what Jon Stewart once called “tomato soup in a bread
bowl.”
The Senior Associate Justice of the highest court in the land has
spoken. There's no appeal. I hope to see the word “pizza”
stricken from any and all versions of tomato casserole and tomato pie
very soon. Don't cry, Windy Citizens. You've still got your own hot
dogs.
Pages
The View from My Kitchen
Benvenuti! I hope you enjoy il panorama dalla mia cucina Italiana -- "the view from my Italian kitchen,"-- where I indulge my passion for Italian food and cooking. From here, I share some thoughts and ideas on food, as well as recipes and restaurant reviews, notes on travel, a few garnishes from a lifetime in the entertainment industry, and an occasional rant on life in general..
You can help by becoming a follower. I'd really like to know who you are and what your thoughts are on what I'm doing. Every great leader needs followers and if I am ever to achieve my goal of becoming the next great leader of the Italian culinary world :-) I need followers!
Grazie mille!
You can help by becoming a follower. I'd really like to know who you are and what your thoughts are on what I'm doing. Every great leader needs followers and if I am ever to achieve my goal of becoming the next great leader of the Italian culinary world :-) I need followers!
Grazie mille!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
It's Official: Supreme Court Says Deep-Dish “Shouldn't Be Called Pizza”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment