More on the Sport of Giada Bashing

It's weird, you know. Not more than a week or so ago I published a piece on Giada De Laurentiis in which I strongly defended her against detractors who actively dislike her for the most inane reasons.

Days later, the garbage can liner known as "The Star" published one of its scurrilous manufactured scandals accusing Giada of having a fling with singer John Mayer -- a bit of libel  over which I hope both Giada and John sue the muckrakers dry. Then before the dust had settled, Giada's legendary grandfather, Dino, died.

Decent people everywhere extend  support to Giada and heartfelt condolences to the entire De Laurentiis family.

However, indecent people keep piling on. Case in point: I received a comment on my article as published on Associated Content. Some idiot named Lisa told me that I needed to get a clue. And she called me "dude." Two ways to immediately get my attention.

She continued her pointless rant by spouting all the usual blah-blah-blah...."the only reason Food Network hired her is because of her name and influence in Hollywood"...."she's not that good of a cook"..."her head is too big for her body"..."why does she have to show off her boobs"..."she should have some class"..."her phony smile"..."her fake Italian accent"...."nobody I know likes her"...etc, etc.

I deleted the moronic comment and now I wish I hadn't been so hasty. Why? Because this pathetically jealous heifer is the poster child for what I was writing about in the first place. Instead of deleting her comment, I should have copied it into the article as an example of the kind of narrow minded ignorance I was talking about.

Here we go again. Giada's supposed clout in Hollywood had nothing to do with her employment at Food Network. She was featured in a 2002 styling piece in "Food and Wine" magazine. Food Networks execs contacted her as a result of that article, not because of her "influence."

Obviously, Lisa, you're right about her cooking ability. Wolfgang Puck should have asked you for your opinion before he hired her at "Spago." And what do viewers of multiple Food Network programs know? Or readers of five bestselling cookbooks? Or instructors at Le Cordon Bleu? Or clients of GDL Foods? You're right, Lisa. She's such a hack.

Giada is a small person. She's just shy of 5' 2". She doesn't have a "big head," you dolt, she has a small body. Geez, what a reason to dislike somebody! Can you say "shallow?"

As to her bustline, Nigella Lawson, Claire Robinson, and some other female food celebs have worn some pretty "boob-ilicious" outfits on TV and I've never heard the sows squeal the way they do over Giada. Her husband's a clothing designer. Her outfits don't bother him -- he designs a lot of them -- so why should they bother you? As for Giada needing class, Lisa, three words: pot, kettle, black.

Her "phony" smile? Pleasant, happy people can be a real pain in the ass, can't they? Better they should be scowling and serious on national TV. That's what people like to see in Lisa's world.

My favorite idiocy is the one about Giada's "fake" Italian accent. How in the ever-lovin' hell can a woman born in Rome to Italian parents have a "fake" Italian accent? I'm sorry, you uneducated cretin, but Americans absolutely massacre most foreign languages. For instance, the "o" sound in Italian is always pronounced the way the "o" is sounded in words like "doe" or "slow." And the "e" is always pronounced like an English long "a", as in "day" or "play." You, Lisa, the epitome of liguistic sophistication, might say "mahtz-uh-rella," but the correct pronunciation is "mohts-a-ray-la." Giada's not fake, you ignorant simpleton, she's correct! Ever hear Mario Batali pronounce the same words? And he was born in Washington, for cryin' out loud! Why not crucify Mario for a "fake" accent? But then, that would mean letting facts interfere with a good irrational hatred of somebody.

"Nobody I know likes her." Well, if everybody you know is as unenlightened as you are, I shouldn't wonder. But the people who give out Emmy awards like her just fine. And so do all the people I know. So there! (I just love arguing like an adult!)

You know what, Lisa? Next time you post a comment, how about posting a picture of yourself with it? I'd love to see how you measure up next to Giada.

I joke about everybody having the right to my opinion. But, damn, woman! Can't you at least develop an educated opinion before you blather it all over the Net?

And you say I need to get a clue!