Revisting ABC's "The Chew"

The Network's Daytime Food Fest Is Losing Its Flavor

ABC's daytime foodie show is getting to be like a piece of gum; you chew it and chew it and then spit it out after the flavor's gone.

When I originally commented on The Chew a day or two after its inaugural episode, I was on the fence. The format was new, the cast needed time to gel, and I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. My patience was rewarded. Things seemed to come together very quickly after those first few halting baby steps and the program took off running. Everybody figured out their place and got comfortable with the format and the show got really good.

And I'm not the only one who thought so. According to a January 20 posting at Zap2It.com's TV by the Numbers, The Chew put up impressive ratings, boasting its best week ever among women 18 to 49 and its second best week in total viewers.

But, OMG!, have the wheels started coming off in the last few weeks!

You know, ABC is the network that originated the phrase “jumping the shark,” and I think The Chew has made the jump.

First of all, I still don't care for Clinton Kelly's hosting style. He frequently borders on smarmy and often projects an attitude that screams, “I'm in this for the paycheck.” And I still think Daphne Oz is a lightweight who was chosen for her telegenic looks and her bankable last name. Watch closely; nobody on the set takes her seriously, so how are we, the average viewers, supposed to do so? She's everybody's little sister and when she says something that's supposed to be authoritative, you just naturally want to go ask mom or dad if she's right.

As a chef, Carla Hall is okay, but with her constant jumpin' and jivin' all over the set, maybe ABC should tap her for the next season of Dancing With The Stars. C'mon, Carla. More food, less mugging and dance moves. Iron Chef Michael Symon – he of the increasingly annoying giggle – is rapidly devolving into an Aluminum Foil Chef because of all the ridiculous antics he's being subjected to. And Mario Batali, the guy for whom I really tuned in in the first place, must have a really sweet contract. He's gone more than he's there.

After the things the producers have foisted off on the cast and forced on the viewers of late, I can't say as I blame him. I'd disappear, too.

The train began to rock on the tracks with the recent “decades week.” Michael Symon in Mickey Mouse ears. Michael Symon in “Mr. Spock” ears and wig. Okay, cute setup. But why not let the poor guy change into something normal during the first break. It's hard to be credible when cooking in mouse ears or a Vulcan haircut. Not that Michael was alone in his humiliation. The producers stuck Mouseketeer outfits and Star Trek costumes on everybody. Everybody except Mario – he endured some accessories but apparently drew the line at being made to look completely silly. During the “'60s” gig, Clinton's bad Shatner and the whole crew being forced to jump around on the set while the camera tilted and jiggled in a hokey simulation of a Klingon attack caused me to hit the “off” button on the remote. It was obvious to me that there was nothing to see that day that remotely involved food.

And then came Presidents Day. Oh, please! The images of Clinton Kelly prancing around as George Washington while Michael Symon sported a godawful Harry Truman hairpiece and glasses were almost enough to make me nauseous. And what was with Carla Hall? Personally, I always think of Phyllis Wheatley on Presidents Day, and the producers apparently do, as well. Why else would they slap a mob cap on Carla for the day? Mario, in bifocals and stock, was supposed to be channeling Benjamin Franklin but, frankly, he appeared to be less than enthused by the whole thing when he made his entrance. And when they brought Daphne Oz out dressed as Abraham Lincoln! …...well........what else is there to say?

You know, Washington's home at Mt. Vernon opened a new exhibition called “Hoecakes and Hospitality” that very day. The exhibit focuses on the landmark's kitchen and features artifacts owned by the President and used in colonial times. You want to do something with George Washington? Rather than putting Kelly in a costume, that would have been a worthwhile tie-in. Okay, so they sent somebody to the White House for a kitchen tour and they gave us the lowdown on some presidential favorite foods, but the rest was just embarrassing to watch. So I didn't.

And that's a habit I may acquire permanently if The Chew doesn't resume cooking and stop schticking. The only thing ABC hasn't done yet is to have Michael Symon don a leather jacket and water skis and jump over a fake shark. Oh, wait – they did something like that once. Hey, maybe there's a guest-shot opportunity for Henry Winkler.

Keep ramping up the silliness and dumbing down the culinary content and the “Happy Days” will be over for The Chew, too.

Why the Paula Deen Flap Won't Go Away

Clarifying Thoughts on “The Butter Queen”

A couple of weeks ago, I, along with a cadre of journalists, bloggers, commentators, and just about everybody else, weighed in on the issue of Paula Deen's delayed announcement of her diabetes. So I'm not going to rehash the basic issue now. What I am going to attempt is to rebut the blindly faithful among her fans who don't seem to grasp the obvious reasons behind the outrage.

Let's start with one point I've seen frequently expressed by her defenders; “Everybody's picking on poor Paula because she has diabetes.” No. Nobody's picking on Paula because she has diabetes. That she has developed the disease is truly sad and I think I can speak for the majority when I say that we all fervently hope she does well in controlling and/or overcoming it.

The outrage comes from the way in which her diabetes was disclosed. Whatever her personal motivations might have been, sitting on the diagnosis – keeping it from her audience and from her principal employer – for three years and only coming out about it after she had secured a lucrative deal with a drug company was a move that was perceived as dishonest at worst and stupid at best.

“But it's her personal life and she shouldn't have to tell everybody about her personal life.” Oh, come on, people! Paula lives to tell everybody about her personal life. I've seen her discuss everything from her adult diapers to her husband's feet to a family suicide at her live shows. And besides, any person with as big a following as Paula Deen shouldn't have unrealistic expectations about a personal life. I don't think Gordon Ramsay's alleged extra-marital affair or his legal battle with his father-in-law have any bearing on his abilties in the kitchen, but the media trots these things out there for public consumption nonetheless. Where's the “poor Gordon” choir?

I read one beknighted devotee who proclaimed, “I don't know what all the fuss is about. Diabetes doesn't come from eating. It's genetic.” Do I really have to address that one? I didn't think so. But people like that are out there.

My favorite chorus is the one that goes, “I don't know why everybody's down on Paula for using butter. You see other TV chefs use butter in everything and nobody complains about them.” Damn right other chefs use butter. But there's a difference between using it and abusing it.

Personally, I think margarine is France's way of sticking it to the rest of Western culture in order to maintain its veneer of culinary superiority. That French chemist didn't invent the stuff back in 1869 to feed an army, he invented it so the French could say – in a bad Maurice Chevalier accent, – “Let's feed zees disgusting crap to zee Americains. Zey will eat anything zey theenk is French and we will use butter to remain superior in zee kitchen.”

Seriously, butter is a naturally produced saturated fat and, yeah, enough of it will probably kill you. Margarine and shortening are chemically produced hydrogenated fats – trans fats – that will kill you quicker and won't taste as good doing it. So pick your poison. Professional chefs use butter not only because of the taste factor, but because there are things you just can't do with margarine. Ever try a margarine beurre blanc?

So, yeah, Deen-ites, Paula's not the only TV chef who uses butter. But she's the only one who deep fries it! And she's made a career out of laughing at her own excesses.

And that's one of the things that most egregiously offends me – and others, especially diabetics; her unrepentent attitude. Numerous sources have quoted her as saying her diagnosis won't change the way she cooks.

I'm all for dancin' with the one what brung ya, but if that dance partner subsequently breaks a leg, you've either got to quit dancin' or find a new partner. Paula needs to do one or the other.

Paula's disappointed, I read, that none of her celebrity chef peers have rushed to her defense. Michael Symon sort of did on a recent episode of ABC's The Chew, but could it be that the predominant silence reflects a general belief that she is wrong?

Fandom is a funny thing. The term “fan,” of course, is short for “fanatic” – which the dictionary defines as “a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal.” And people with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal for Paula Deen will never consider that the object of their affection could be anything less than they have built her up to be. And they will similarly never understand people who are not possesed of the same extreme and uncritical enthusiasm.

Paula's sick. I'm sorry. Paula's sick, but she's not going to change her ways. I'm sorry and disappointed. Paula's sick and she's not going to change her ways and, against the advice of her family and her longtime publicist, she's going to make a pile of money promoting a drug that treats the condition to which her chosen lifestyle contributes and which, by the way, almost nobody in her fan base can afford. I'm sorry, disappointed, and outraged.

Loyal subjects, it's time for a look at the woman behind the curtain.

McDonald's Says "Bye-Bye" to "Pink Slime" Burgers

Well, there's good news and bad news today from the world's largest fast-food purveyor.

The good news? McDonald's admits that it has stopped using a substance colloquially known as “pink slime” in its burgers. The bad news? McDonald's admits that it has stopped using a substance colloquially known as “pink slime” in its burgers. This after how many billions have been sold?

“Pink slime” is a term coined by people who actually care about what they eat. It refers to beef trimmings and other leftovers from the butchering process that would normally be unfit for human consumption and relegated to dog food. But a number of big beef processing companies have discovered that dousing said scrap with ammonium hydroxide will kill off bacterial baddies like e-coli and salmonella, therby rendering the renderings “safe” for use in people food. Ah, the wonders of chemistry!

It's a cheap and easy process; you take the trimmings and run them through a centrifuge to separate the fats and solids. Then you force the solids through a little tube, where they are “gassed” with an ammonia compound. This changes the product's pH and ostensibly kills the bugs – at least the ones that haven't developed an immunity to the process. The resultant pink, slimy substance is then sold to the processors who produce cheap beef for cheap burgers. If it makes you feel any better, “pink slime” doesn't usually make up any more than twenty-five percent of the processed meat you're eating.

I saw Jamie Oliver discuss and demonstrate “pink slime” on one of his Food Revolution shows last year. I was disgusted. Apparently a lot of other people were, too, because the two biggest burger joints – McDonald's and Burger King – as well as Taco Bell and others have since announced the elimination of the substance in their product lines. Never mind that it was in there in the first place.

Oh, the USDA says it's “safe.” Of course, that's not really much of an endorsement anymore, now is it? Anybody with sufficient clout and a big enough bank account can get the USDA to approve just about anything. That's why the manufacturers of “pink slime” aren't too worried by the big burger chains' defection – they've got lots of other customers. Think about that the next time you visit your supermarket's meat department and buy one of those big rolls of prepackaged “ground beef” all nicely wrapped up in opaque plastic and sold at such “bargain” prices.

As a kid, I remember wondering why my grandmother cranked her arm off with that cast-iron antique she clamped onto the edge of the kitchen counter whenever she wanted to make hamburgers, meat loaf, meatballs, or anything with ground meat in it. I mean, Grandma, get real! Join the 20^th century! They sell that stuff at the grocery store already ground up. Fifty years later, I say “thanks for the inspiration, Grandma” as I crank up the grinder attachment on my KitchenAid. When ground meat hits the plate at my place, I know what's in it – and “pink slime” is not a component. On top of that, my guests always marvel at the great flavor and texture. Isn't it amazing how smart our old-fashioned, low-tech, out-of-touch grannies were?

I doubt that back in 1955 Ray Kroc made his original burgers out of meat containing twenty-five percent “pink slime.” In a day and age where so many established institutions have chosen to sacrifice the standards of quality set forth by their founders in favor of cheap production and fast profits – KFC and Walmart, are you listening? – maybe the recent move by McDonald's is a teeny, tiny baby step in the right direction. We can only hope.

In the meantime, if you want a really good burger, find a butcher you can trust or buy your own meat and grind it at home. It's not fast, it's not convenient, and it's not cheap. But you don't have to worry about serving your family a burger that's twenty-five percent dog food, either.

February (2012) Fun Food Holidays

It's February. In Roman times, February, named for the Latin word for purification, was the last month of the calendar year. It's a month for Valentines and for celebrating George Washington's birthday, so naturally there'll be chocolate and cherries involved. But there's more.

2012 being a leap year, February get its extra day this year, but it's still the shortest month on the calendar. So how come so much gets crammed into it?

February is – deep breath – National Fondue Month, National Grapefruit Month, National Snack Food Month, National Hot Breakfast Month, National Canned Food Month, Potato Lover's Month, Sweet Potato Month, and Great American Pies Month. Of course, it's also National Cherry Month and Celebration of Chocolate Month.

The weeks are crowded with dedications to pancakes, pizza, pickles, and frankfurters and kraut.

And the busy individual food days march on through National Baked Alaska Day on February 1. The second is set aside for Heavenly Hash. Stand up for carrott cake on February 3 and sit down to a bowl of homemade soup on the 4^th, which is also Stuffed Mushroom Day.

Start the first full week of the month with a celebration of chocolate fondue on the 5^th, also World Nutella Day in honor of that creamy, delicious chocolate and hazelnut substance that is the Italian equivalent of peanut butter.

Another Italian dish gets a nod on February 7, National Fettuccine Alfredo Day.

Belly up to the molasses bar for Molasses Bar Day on February 8.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's February 9, National Pizza Pie Day, curiously a day also shared with bagels and lox.

Cream cheese brownies get a day of their own on February 10, followed by Peppermint Patty Day on the 11^th, a day in which we also recognize the old maxim “Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk.” And, no, that doesn't have anything to do with the Great Chicago Fire; that was in October. So don't ask me why we bring up spilled milk in February.

Two dishes that I often associate with one another, plum pudding and tortellini, have back-to-back days on the 12^th and 13^th.

Of course, February 14 has to be National Creme-Filled Chocolates Day.

The 15^th is pretty sweet, too; National Gumdrop Day.

Give almonds their due on February 16 and then dish up some Indian pudding with which to celebrate on February 17.

How 'bout some crab-stuffed flounder on February 18^th, a day on which you are also encouraged to drink wine? Seriously. It's Drink Wine Day. Who knew?

Eat chocolate mint and cherry pie on the 19^th and 20^th, respectively, although why you would celebrate cherry pie two days before Washington's birthday, I don't know. In fact, you're supposed to down a few margaritas to mark National Margarita Day on February 22, Sticky buns get stuck in between cherry pies and margaritas on the 21^st.

Banana bread gets a day on the 23^rd of February, a date which also proves that every dog biscuit gets its day. Yep. Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day falls on February 23.

Tortilla Chip Day hits the calendar on the 24^th. Save some to have with the clam chowder that's feted on the following day. Ewwww!

Break out the goobers and dip 'em in chocolate fountain for National Chocolate-Covered Nuts Day.

Pistachios and strawberries, both of which are also pretty good when covered with chocolate, have their days on the 26^th and 27^th, the latter day also dedicated to Kahlua, similarly not too shabby with chocolate.

Normally, the month would close out with a nod to chocolate souffle on February 28, but it is Leap Year, after all, so consume some surf and turf on its officially recognized day, February 29.

Ciao for now!

Shame on Paula Deen

Tar and Feathers for the Butter Queen

I don't know what to make of Paula Deen.......but then again, I never have.

She started out in the food biz as a Bag Lady. Working under that name, she made bag lunches, which her two sons marketed and delivered to local business people. She moved up through the ranks, ultimately establishing herself with her uber-successful “Lady and Sons” restaurant in Savannah, Georgia. A self-published cookbook followed, then more cookbooks, then the Food Network came calling, and the rest is history. Paula Deen is now the Southern Julia Child with a string of popular TV shows, a bunch of bestselling cookbooks, and enough product endorsement contracts to choke a mule. She's won an Emmy, fans throng to her public appearances, and her restaurants continue to do land office business. Not a bad shake for a divorced mom from Albany, Georgia.

When she first showed up on TV, Paula, who had once suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia, was concerned that a national audience would find her “too Southern.” Instead, they found her completely captivating and her down home style of cooking – with lots of butter and sugar and other naughty ingredients – was a novel counterpoint to the prevailing trend of bean sprouts and brown rice.

All well and good. But.........

I live in the South and have done so for more than thirty years. Never mind the Yankee audience; I find Paula Deen to be too Southern. Even my Alabama-born-and-bred wife admits that Paula's overblown magnolias and mint juleps persona gets on her nerves. I mean, nobody in the South says “y'all” eighteen times in a single sentence. Dial it back. Please! It's almost a caricature.

I've seen the “Buttah Queen” in person on several occasions and I've yet to make it through one of her cooking demos. In the first place, she doesn't cook, relying instead on assistants to man the pots and pans while she regales her fawning fans with personal anecdotes. Some of them are very personal. Paula, do we really need to hear about your adult undergarments at a cooking show? To paraphrase another fine Southerner, the late, great Lewis Grizzard, “Sister, I don't believe I'd a told that!”

For another thing, Southern cooks don't live in an antebellum time warp. Things like olive oil and low fat milk do exist in Southern kitchens, and Southern cooks are hip to current health and nutrition trends. It ain't all about hoecakes and fatback and collard greens anymore.

It was wretched excesses like deep fried butter balls that put Paula's homey little Southern granny image on the radar screens of people like Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern, both of whom have roundly criticized Paula's peddling of unhealthy foods to a nation struggling with record setting obesity. The release of a children's cookbook called “Paula Deen's Cookbook for the Lunchbox Set” prompted Barbara Walters to join the chorus, asking Deen if she seriously thought telling kids to eat cheesecake for breakfast and chocolate cake, meatloaf, and French fries for lunch was such a good idea. Bourdain has famously called her “the most dangerous woman in America” for sweetly smiling at the camera while simultaneously throwing metaphorical anchors to people drowning in fat.

Want an example? Try one of her signature dishes, “The Lady's Brunch Burger.” To make one of these cardiologist's delights you need a half-pound of ground beef, an egg, two slices of bacon, a modest tablespoon of butter, a “house seasoning” that consists of salt, pepper, and garlic powder, a little onion, a little parsley, and a couple of glazed doughnuts.

You mix the beef, onion, and parsley together and “season liberally” with the “house seasoning.” Next you fry up the burger, fry up the bacon, and fry up the egg in the butter. Now you slap the burger on a doughnut, top it with the bacon and the fried egg, and cover it with another doughnut!

And now Paula Deen says she has type 2 diabetes.

The announcement was met with a growing wave of outrage. Not that anybody is surprised. She's 65 years old, overweight, and is the mainstay of America's butter, sugar, and salt industries. She also smokes. But the timing just stunk.

You see, Paula was diagnosed three years ago. Three years during which she continued to flog her Lady's Brunch Burger, Krispy-Kreme Bread Pudding, Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf, Deep-Fried Cheesecake, and The Lady's Cheesy Mac – a concoction of deep-fried macaroni and cheese wrapped in bacon – to an unsuspecting public. Three years during which she opted not to share her diagnosis with her Food Network bosses lest they say something like, “Umm.......Paula, maybe it's time to shift focus.”

Paula, who excuses her three-year lapse in judgment by saying that she needed time to adjust and felt she had no advice or help to offer the public when she was first diagnosed, has gone on record refusing to change her fat and sugar laden ways. But now she apparently feels she has something to offer the public; her new contract as a spokesperson for drugmaker Novo Nordisk's new Victoza, a daily non-insulin injectable.

Tweets the irascible Bourdain, “Thinking of getting into the leg breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.” But then Anthony never has had the warm fuzzies for Paula.

Now, however, even her stalwart fans are jumping into the fray. One such likens Deen to someone who brags on the joys of smoking two packs a day and then shills for a nicotine patch after developing lung cancer.

Diabetics in her fan base are outraged. Some think that she should volunteer to serve as an unpaid spokesperson for the American Diabetes Association instead of tucking herself into the wallet of a drug company.

Oddly enough, the Association is currently supporting Deen, saying that she may “inspire many people living with type 2 diabetes to take a more positive approach to their diabetes care.” Yeah! Maybe they'll be inspired to have a “Lady's Brunch Burger” AND a side of “The Lady's Cheesy Mac!” Get a clue! The woman has publicly stated that she has no intention of changing her style. How do you inspire people who are forced by the disease to change their lifestyles by refusing to change yours?

Paula's principal employer is standing behind her – for now. Food Network is ready to “support her as she confronts this new challenge, taking her lead on what future episodes will offer her fans.” We'll see how that goes. Coincidentally, Paula's boy Bobby has just premiered a new offering on the network. “Not My Mama's Meals” takes Paula's recipes and makes them healthier. Hmmmm........wouldn't it be better under the circumstances for her to take that one upon herself?

Hypocrite. That's the word in the headlines today. It was easy for the sweet old Southern lady to brush aside attacks from bad old culinary curmudgeons like Bourdain and Zimmern, but can she withstand a backlash from her simple, down home fan base? I think Paula really needs to embrace her current situation, apologize for her bad judgment, modify her on-air persona and style, back off her questionable financial arrangement, and take her fans' advice to volunteer.

C'mon, Paula! We all know you're not a classically trained chef. You're just a common old Southern cook who done good. But is your son better? How come he can make healthy Southern meals and you can't? Maybe it's time to stop being so defensive and let some of the honest criticism sink in. Humble pie might be a good recipe to include in a forthcoming diabetic cookbook.

Just my opinion, y'all.

January (2012) Fun Food Holidays

Well, the big holidays that focus on food may be behind us, but there is certainly no shortage of food holidays to celebrate as we move into a new year.

January is National Fill-In-The-Blank month for lots of food and food-related items including candy, meat, hot tea, oatmeal, eggs, soup, and wheat bread as well as bread machine baking and the ever popular prune breakfast.

A couple of special weeks deserve recognition, too: celebrate National Pizza Week the second week of the month, while meat and Irish coffee share the fourth week.

You would think that booze would get enough acknowledgment in the hours leading into the New Year but January still offers loads of opportunities to get loaded, starting with New Year's Day, which doubles as National Bloody Mary Day. National Hot Toddy Day happens on the 11^th, Hot Buttered Rum Day falls on the 17^th, Irish Coffee Day has its day on the 25^th, and an alcoholic month closes as it opens with the observance of National Brandy Alexander Day.

If you have the stomach for a little sustenance among all those party days, we can work in National Cream Puff Day on the 2^nd, National Spaghetti Day on the 4^th, National Whipped Cream Day on the 5^th, a split between beans and shortbread on the 6^th, and National Tempura Day on the 7^th. And that's just the first week!

National Pizza Week begins with a party for English Toffee on January 8. Apricots get their day on January 9, bittersweet chocolate is in the spotlight on the 10^th, and January 11 is Milk Day. Curried chicken, peach melba, and hot pastrami sandwiches round out the week on the 12^th, 13^th, and 14^th, respectively. Notice that National Pizza Week doesn't have a single day connected to pizza.

Dive into some strawberry ice cream on January15.

January 16 brings a weird sharing between hot and spicy food and fig newtons.

Duck in for a little Peking Duck on January 18, Peking Duck Day.

January 19 is National Popcorn Day, and no, it's not Orville Redenbacher's birthday. That would be July 16.

January 20 is really crowded, hosting National Buttercrunch Day, National Cheese Lover’s Day, National Granola Bar Day, and National Coffee Break Day all in the same 24-hour period.

New England Clam Chowder rates a day on the 21^st. Blonde brownies, or “Blondies,” have their day on January 22. National Pie Day happens on the 23^rd, followed by National Peanut Butter day on the 24^th. (Peanut Butter pie anyone?)

January 25 is a big day in Scotland and among those of Scottish heritage everywhere; it's the birthday of the poet Robert Burns, and Burns Night dinners are traditional events serving up lots of Scottish food – and, yes, there will be haggis. So why it's also Irish Coffee Day is beyond me.

The January home stretch winds down with National Pistachio Day on the 26^th, Chocolate Cake Day on the 27^th, National Blueberry Pancakes Day on the 28^th, National Corn Chip Day on the 29^th, and the All-American celebration of a French pastry, National Croissant Day, brings the month to a close on January 30. (Remember, the 31^st is reserved for Brandy Alexanders.)

Buon Capo d'Anno e Buon Appetito!

Traditional Good Luck Food for the New Year

Buona fortuna! Bonne chance! Buena suerte! Wishes for good luck abound at the beginning of every new year. And in some cultures, special foods are consumed to help make those wishes come true. Whether or not they have any effect on one's fortunes is speculative, but their inclusion in holiday menus is fixed firmly in tradition.

Take cotechino con lenticchie, or lentils and sausage, for instance. This Italian – or more specifically, Tuscan – tradition has its roots in the belief that lentils resemble lira coins and a nice fat pork sausage is analogous to a nice fat wallet. Remember, we are talking about a culture that equates tortellini with the navel of Venus, fried rice balls with little oranges, and flattened pieces of pasta with human ears.

In other parts of Italy – particularly in the Piemonte region – risotto is traditional New Year's fare, the rich, creamy abundance of small grains representing a similar abundance of wealth in the coming year.

In Roman times, honey-sesame cookies were given to guests at New Year celebrations to ensure a year of sweetness. And so in many parts of Italy, eating sweets on New Year's Day ensures a year of good fortune. Especially for your dentist!

In fact, there are common “good luck” elements in many culinary cultures. Pork, legumes, and greens are present on New Year's tables all around the world. Pork is customary because of its rich, fatty legacy symbolizing wealth. And pigs root in a forward direction, an action signifying forward movement in the upcoming year. Legumes, such as lentils, beans, and peas, are popular because they generally resemble coins. And greens …. well, the more green found on your table on New Year's Day, the more green likely to be found in your wallet in the new year.

The lentil bandwagon rolls all the way to South America where Brazilians in search of a prosperous New Year consume lentil soup or lentils and rice.

People in Germany pair pork and legumes as a means of ensuring a lucky New Year. There the sausage is usually accompanied by either lentil or split-pea soup. Sauerkraut, made from green cabbage, is also a popular first meal of the new year.

The Danish are fond of stewed kale with a little cinnamon, while pig's feet are popular in nearby Sweden.

Whole suckling pigs are roasted in many Latin countries to bring luck in the New Year.

And speaking of Latin countries, one custom there stands alone among the world's New Year's traditions; eating grapes. In Spain, Mexico, Portugal, Cuba and other Latin-influenced cultures, it is common to eat twelve grapes at midnight on New Year's Eve, one grape for each stroke of the hour.

In the American South, collard greens are a good luck staple on January 1. The greens are usually accompanied by ham hocks and black-eyed peas, especially in the coastal South where Hoppin' John is an essential New Year's Day dish. Similar to a traditional West African preparation, it consists of black-eyed peas, rice, and onions mixed with either ham hocks, fatback, or thick-sliced bacon. Some regional variations include peppers, vinegar, and the addition of different spices. Sometimes coins are inserted into individual servings or placed under bowls. Cornbread, with its golden color, is another traditional lucky food. Often Southern New Year's diners are encouraged to leave three peas on their plates to ensure luck, fortune, and romance in the coming year.

By the way, there are a few foods to avoid on New Year's Day if you wish to pursue a course of advancing good luck. Lobsters move backward and chickens scratch in a backward fashion, a direction you do not want your luck to take. Similarly, any bird that is capable of suddenly flying away, carrying your luck with it, is not to be eaten on New Year's Day.

Buon appetito e Buon Capo d'Anno!