A New Take On “The Italian Job”? Gimme a Break!
Wow! According to the AP this morning, “Swiss food giant Nestlé says about 12 tons, or 413,793 candy bars, of its Kit Kat chocolate brand, were stolen after leaving its production site in Italy earlier this week for Poland.”
I weep for the 413,793 Polish consumers who will thus be deprived of their favorite chocolaty ambrosia. Imagine, a truckload of creamy milk chocolate and delicate wafer candy bars made by a world famous Swiss company at a production facility in central Italy (probably in Perugia, where they also know a thing or two about chocolate) just sitting out there waiting for the right buyer.
My phone number is (555) 321-….......oh, never mind. I could never afford the tariffs. But if I could, man, that many Kit Kats would least me at least a month! (Or so.)
KitKats and I go back to about 1960, when some sainted buyer introduced them to the place my dad was working at the time and he bought one for me. It was l-o-v-e at first bite! Oh, don't get me wrong; I still craved my Nestlé's Crunch bars and continued to drool over Peter Paul's Mounds, but after that first encounter, nothing made my dopamine go ding-dong like a Kit Kat bar.
Now, those were the days, my friend, when Kit Kats were still made in England by Rowntree of York. In fact, the word “Rowntree” was emblazoned in script on each of the four “fingers” of confectionery perfection. Tracing its roots back to a worker's recommendation box suggestion for a “chocolate bar that a man could work in his pack up,” Rowntree's Chocolate Crisp, as it was originally known, sold for tuppence when it was introduced in 1935. The “Kit Kat” moniker came along two years later.
Initially marketed in London and southern England, Kit Kat caught on like wildfire and by the end of the next decade had spread throughout the UK and it's commonwealth countries – also making a big splash in its former colony across the Pond.
Alas, but all good things must end, and Kit Kat, sadly, ended up being licensed in 1970 to the Hershey Company, that abominable place in Pennsylvania where once-decent chocolate goes to be transformed into unappealing, sugary brown wax. A little piece of my childhood perished the day I bit into a Hershey's Kit Kat. (Sigh) Oh, I kept buying them – out of habit more than anything else – but neither my heart nor my taste buds were really in it anymore.
And then one blessed day, I happened to be aboard a cruise ship that sold Kit Kat bars in one of the onboard shops. Listlessly, I bought one, unwrapped it, and prepared for the now-familiar sense of disappointment. O. M. G! It was a freakin' real, honest-to-goodness and good chocolate KIT KAT BAR!!
As I repeatedly pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming or hadn't stepped into a DeLorean with Doc Brown at the wheel, I read the label. “Made in England.” Hmmm....
It seems that even though Hershey holds the US license for Kit Kat, Nestlé – who acquired Rowntree in 1988 – still makes them at the old plant in York and in several other European locations, and distributes them worldwide. La mia salvezza è portato di mano! Now all I had to do to get my Kit Kat fix was to take a cruise every couple of weeks! Wait......surely there's a less cost-prohibitive way to enjoy the earthly pleasure of heavenly chocolate.
Knowing and sympathetic friends who took cruises and/or traveled to Europe always made it a point to bring me care packages of as many Kit Kats as they could squeeze into their luggage. I was grateful.
Then, on another fortuitous foray, I stumbled upon a little downtown British import shop that carried lots of Dairy Milk and other Cadbury products, Maltesers, and......and.....yes! English-made Kit Kats! I immediately bought them out and became one of their best regulars.
Unfortunately, my passion for Kit Kats wasn't enough to sustain them in business....but by the time they went under, I had discovered World Market and to this day I am a deliriously happy Kit Kat camper.
Go on. Head over to WM and buy one. You'll immediately understand why somebody heisted twelve tons of them in Europe. See, British milk chocolate requires a higher minimum percentage of cocoa solids and milk fat than American “chocolate.” In other words, there's actually milk in their milk chocolate, not a cheap artificial substitute. This alone makes for a smoother, less waxy texture. And as for the flavor, European chocolate contains higher fat and cocoa content. This creates a much richer, fuller, more rounded and less intensely sweet taste by comparison to American chocolate products.
So....ah.....hey, if you're in the market for some real Kat Kat bars, I know a guy.......who works at World Market. Meet me there when they open tomorrow. I'll be the one with the oversize tote bag.
